Innocent, genuine questions, I don't mind. Let's get this straight. If someone is genuinely interested in adopting and are trying to find out more, well, then I'm your girl. I will invite you over for coffee and show you how to go about adopting. I will answer any and all questions you may have. I email you information until you tell me to stop because you are so overwhelmed. I will advocate for adoption in any way. However, stupid questions from stupid people, I do mind.
Are they adopted? "Yum, I think so. I have three and can't remember which ones I gave birth to". Or, my favorite response is, "One is homemade and two are take out".
Are they real brothers? "Yes."
Do they have the same mother? "I am their mother".
Who are their real parents? "My husband and I are".
Where did you get that kid? He's so cool he must have cost a fortune!
Unfortunately this came from someone we know who put his foot in his mouth. Okay, so the guy doesn't think at all before his mouth starts rambling. I literally sat with my jaw on the ground. Yup, speechless. No witty comment....at.....all. I'm mean, really? Couldn't wrap my head around it. He paid for it in the end. His family was angry with him and lots of apologizes cam our way!
Do you know anything at all about their past? "That is their story to tell".
Why didn't you adopt from the States? I realize this a valid quest. But let's remember, if God had wanted us to adopt from the States, He would have certainly led us in that direction. End of story. It is only when people want to argue the point that I have some issues with.
Does he have good teeth? Sadly, I didn't make this one up. Someone literally let that fall out of his redneck mouth when Grant was little and I almost pounced on the blithering idiot. But before I could, Eric had handled the situation and practically carried me out of the restaurant before I made a very ugly seen. I may have let "He's not a horse" slip out. I'll tell ya, that was the nicest thing coming to mind.
Where are they from? Always answer this one clearly and with pride. Yes, it sounds like they are aliens with the way the question always gets worded. But if you proudly say, "Their birth countries are Kazakhstan and China", then hopefully the boys will understand how proud of them we are.
"Just watch out, because you'll end up getting pregnant since you're adopting!" Guaranteed that every parent who has adopted has gotten this one.
Seriously, that would not be a good thing! I want my boys with Asian eyes and I certainly can't produce that!
Thankfully, these comments do not happen daily or even weekly. They are sporadic. Families that are mixed ethnically are becoming more and more common. My only concern with the questions is when the boys hear. I know it is inevitable that they will see themselves as different. But at this point, neither one of them do. Grant thinks in very factual terms. "I have Asian eyes and I was born in Kazakhstan. Mom and Dad came and brought me home". So what about you adoptive parents out there? What dumb questions have you had over the years and how did you handle it?
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